Some feelings I just can't explain. For example now, I am listening to music and through my body warm heat is running back and forth. It reminds me of the feeling when butterflies is flying inside the stomach.
But this feeling is also different, because I am feeling it not because of some person, but because of my thoughts about life.
It is so interesting to feel so many feelings, when they are mixing together and trying to cover each other.
I am feeling so much happiness and beautiful sadness at the same time. These two feelings trying to fight with each other but in the final conclusion - it appears to be beautiful and warm, bittersweet feeling of happiness.
Somehow I can only explain this feeling by example of being covered in warm, pure blanket, when the most beautiful music is playing around and no worries is bothering. You just siting, covered in blanket, not thinking about anything, but feeling so light, so calm, so good.
Some nights I have such a bad dreams, bad thoughts, bad experience but I know that everything is because I am on my way to the biggest change in my life. I always can choose. There are always at least two choices in every situation. 1. to stay in my comfort zone, 2. to leave that "box" of comfort and let myself in to big, beautiful and happy world.
The first part of staying in comfort zone also makes me happy, because there everything is familiar, I know everything and everyone, but, there is one BUT. I can't imagine myself here anymore. I was trying so many times to imagine myself here, spending my life and I can't.
It is not that "everywhere is better but here", it is just here is good, but I don't belong here anymore.
Somewhere I read that the only way person can know that he is ready to go somewhere is when to be in this place where he/she is right now is OK for him. He/she is not running away from something but logically is entering the new way.
I could say that we can do anything we want in the world, but the reality is that before that the opportunity should knock to our door. Because without opportunity there is no chance. And after that magical knock - than you can do anything you want in the world. You can open the door, you can ignore the knocking, you can be angry that someone is knocking. You can... You CAN and that is the most important, you can choose.
I like to live life with pink glasses on, but right now, I can take them off and say to all of you one important thing - not everyone is meant to be happy, not everyone is strong enough to help themselves, not everyone is optimistic and not everyone was born to change this world. That is true reality. We all have to accept who we are. We have to learn how to live with that. And the only way to change that - is to take this opportunity. Listen what people is telling to you, if someone is giving you their hand - take it, don't ignore it.
Maybe you were not born to be SOMEONE, but you can BECOME someone. Just with a little help from outside.
Good luck, be the best version of yourself.
With love,
Moni.
source of picture: http://weheartit.com/entry/264431215/search?context_type=search&context_user=tanusa_1994&query=warmth
